Neil asher

NO ONE IS RIGHT OR WRONG – THEY JUST ARE

Often, new coaches have difficulty practicing non-judgment of people. Somehow, our society has trained us to judge others as good or bad and not to accept those who are different from us or what we consider the “norm.” So, this skill takes some work.

To better understand this principle, let’s listen in on a typical client session:

Client: I want to tell you something before we start working together.

Coach: Yes, Fred.

Client: I just thought you might want to know that I am seriously fat. I don’t know if that affects how we work together or not.

Coach: Not at all. neil asher

Client: Because I’m okay with this; it’s not something I want to change.

Coach: Okay, and I thank you for putting that out there for me. Whether you’re 60 Kilo’s, or 200 Kilo’s, or 6000 Kilo’s, you’re still Fred, and I’m excited to work with you.

Client: While we’re working together, if I really don’t want to do something, maybe I don’t want to change my job, how do you deal with that?

Coach: It’s really up to you what your goals are. As the Coach, I stand for you as a human being; as a person, I stand for your rights and who you are as an individual, and not for what the goals are that you accomplish. So it’s not about what you do or what you accomplish, it’s about becoming more you.

Let’s listen in on another client session to further understand this principle:

Coach: Tell me more about how you create income so I can better understand.

Client: I’m a professional gambler.

Coach: Okay.

Client: Now, I don’t know if that bothers you or not, and I don’t want to change that. It’s very lucrative.

Coach: Okay, whatever it is that you do is whatever it is that you do to create income. I stand for who you are. So, what is the intent of your coaching with me, Tom?

Client: I just want to be better balanced and be happier. I really don’t want to give up my gambling.

Coach: Okay. Does gambling get in the way of your happiness or your balance?

Client: Maybe, sometimes.

Coach: Would you be willing to talk about how that gets in there? I have no judgment, no opinion; it’s totally up to you what you want to do, and it will be throughout all of our coaching.

Client: Okay.

Coach: Would you allow me to ask you some questions as we do our coaching together, so that you can get honest answers and go deep within yourself to make your own decisions, and just allow me to probe a little deeper than most people have probably probed with you?

Client: I think so.

Coach: If you’re willing, our coaching will work. I do want you to know, if I ever get to a place where it feels uncomfortable, you simply say, “Don’t want to go there. Don’t want to answer that.” Okay?

Client: Okay.

Coach: Great, and again, Tom, I stand for you; anything and everything you tell me is confidential. It’s between us and I hold no judgment.

Client: Okay.

Coach: Great neil

Let’s listen in on still another session:

Coach: Hi, neil!

Client: Hi. Are you able to understand me? I have a very heavy accent and I really think that’s going to be a problem on the telephone. People have trouble understanding me. Even though I’m really smart, they treat me like I’m dumb because of my accent.

Coach: Okay. Are you asking if I have a problem understanding you?

Client: Well, yes. Do you have a problem that I’m from the Ukraine, with this heavy accent? You may not want to work with me because of this.

Coach: I’m delighted to work with you, and if there is something that I have trouble understanding or you have trouble understanding, let’s just honour each other and be sure we ask the other person, or let the other person know that we need some clarification. How’s that?

Client: Okay.

Coach: Great, I’m delighted to work with you.

You will later learn tools to take away judgment neil asher. Let’s imagine this together. What if everyone received this training and no one in the universe judged others? What would/could this world be neil asher like? You can create that world for you through your desire to let judgment go. Don’t worry, we have many tools to teach you and have only just begun to visit this topic.