neil asher - what is coaching?

Neil asher

Neil Asher - what is coaching

So What is Coaching?

Imagine a relationship where the total focus is on you, on what you want in your life, and on what will help you achieve it. Imagine someone listening:

• not only to your words, 
• to what's behind them 
• to the spaces between the words.  

Neil Asher - Someone in tune with :

• the nuances of your voice
• with your emotion
• your energy 
• receiving everything you communicate
• who listens to the very best in you, even when you can't hear it in yourself. 

Neil Asher - Imagine someone who will hold you accountable and keep you moving forward toward your dreams and goals. 

Neil Asher - Imagine a relationship with someone who is:

• totally curious about your dreams and aspirations
• what makes you tick, 
• what you value
• what you are most passionate about in your life 
• a person who will help you clarify your goals 
• provide the tools for action and learning that lead to the results you want. 

Neil Asher - Imagine a relationship in your life with a person who is sometimes even more committed to what you want in your life than you are. 

Neil Asher - Imagine what it would be like if someone knew:

• your values and life purpose and was holding you true to them 
• someone who would hold the flag at the top of the hill, encouraging you to press on,
• someone to celebrate your victories and help you learn from your setbacks. 

Neil Asher - Imagine a relationship with someone :

• who will absolutely tell you the truth - the truth about where you are strong, 
• who knows where you sell yourself short.
• who knows you can handle it and knows that's what you want.
• who sees how big you can be and constantly holds that big image for you - even when you can't hold it for yourself. 

Neil Asher - Imagine someone who listens to you without judgment and allows you to show emotion - in fact accepts you without analysing you.  Imagine you get to talk to this person every week, even when you've just made a mess of things or when you've had great success. 

Neil Asher - Imagine a relationship where you finally break free of those self-limiting conversations you’ve been having over the years - where the voices of sabotage are simply noticed for what they are and the powerful part of you is always encouraged.

Neil asher

neil asher

I'm a business owner. 

I'm not mega rich, but I earn more than my employees. 

I earn more because I created the functional system and worked 70 hour weeks for 16 years. My effort and risk now provides the opportunity of 40 jobs around the world. 

Incentive and huge risk, has expanded the economy, and everyone is granted more opportunity.

How else does job creation happen?

Open your own business, you would learn that "the rich" do not prevent you from succeeding, the government does =)

Neil ASher

Neil Asher

Start at the Beginning Neil

Neil asher start at the beginning

You are now embarking on a wonderful life journey that will change what you do in many ways and allow you to see who you really are inside. This may be scary sometimes and thrilling at others. One thing is for sure, you will know much more about yourself and will have discovered a way to live and work which is beyond your present capacity. What is necessary for you to begin this journey is that you decide to do the work that goes along with reading this book. This book is simply your guide. 

You must be accountable and responsible for making the book come alive by doing all the exercises and fully engaging in the process. As in the coaching relationship, the client must do the work to learn and grow. In our coach training program, we make it clear to new students that they need to do the practice activities, engage in the role plays, and begin to work with clients right away, so that they can begin to do live coaching. This too, is your role as the reader.

Take your time in processing the information. This is not a book to be read quickly or once over. This is a book to be digested, acted upon, re-read, and thought about. It is a fun and delightful process that will enable you to grow. You may feel some of the things don’t fit for you or are very difficult for you. That is okay. It is perfectly fine to struggle with new concepts. This is a process, and I am looking for you to feel the growing pains knowing that from this you will progress, even when it feels like you may be standing still. Imagine me, as your coach for this program, standing by your side, encouraging you and holding you accountable. You bought the book, so you are attracted to self-growth, yes? Now, I am not going to sit here, as your coach, and tell you it is okay not to finish the book or do all the exercises. 

So imagine you just paid me what a typical coaching client pays for one month of my services, £1,000 - you don’t want to waste this valuable money and not do the work, right? Okay, you are now my coaching client. Get ready, and understand you must make the commitment to do the work and the payoff will be great!

As you embark on this journey, I am by your side as your success partner. Let’s get started!

Neil asher

Neil asher

NO ONE IS RIGHT OR WRONG – THEY JUST ARE

Often, new coaches have difficulty practicing non-judgment of people. Somehow, our society has trained us to judge others as good or bad and not to accept those who are different from us or what we consider the “norm.” So, this skill takes some work.

To better understand this principle, let’s listen in on a typical client session:

Client: I want to tell you something before we start working together.

Coach: Yes, Fred.

Client: I just thought you might want to know that I am seriously fat. I don’t know if that affects how we work together or not.

Coach: Not at all. neil asher

Client: Because I’m okay with this; it’s not something I want to change.

Coach: Okay, and I thank you for putting that out there for me. Whether you’re 60 Kilo’s, or 200 Kilo’s, or 6000 Kilo’s, you’re still Fred, and I’m excited to work with you.

Client: While we’re working together, if I really don’t want to do something, maybe I don’t want to change my job, how do you deal with that?

Coach: It’s really up to you what your goals are. As the Coach, I stand for you as a human being; as a person, I stand for your rights and who you are as an individual, and not for what the goals are that you accomplish. So it’s not about what you do or what you accomplish, it’s about becoming more you.

Let’s listen in on another client session to further understand this principle:

Coach: Tell me more about how you create income so I can better understand.

Client: I’m a professional gambler.

Coach: Okay.

Client: Now, I don’t know if that bothers you or not, and I don’t want to change that. It’s very lucrative.

Coach: Okay, whatever it is that you do is whatever it is that you do to create income. I stand for who you are. So, what is the intent of your coaching with me, Tom?

Client: I just want to be better balanced and be happier. I really don’t want to give up my gambling.

Coach: Okay. Does gambling get in the way of your happiness or your balance?

Client: Maybe, sometimes.

Coach: Would you be willing to talk about how that gets in there? I have no judgment, no opinion; it’s totally up to you what you want to do, and it will be throughout all of our coaching.

Client: Okay.

Coach: Would you allow me to ask you some questions as we do our coaching together, so that you can get honest answers and go deep within yourself to make your own decisions, and just allow me to probe a little deeper than most people have probably probed with you?

Client: I think so.

Coach: If you’re willing, our coaching will work. I do want you to know, if I ever get to a place where it feels uncomfortable, you simply say, “Don’t want to go there. Don’t want to answer that.” Okay?

Client: Okay.

Coach: Great, and again, Tom, I stand for you; anything and everything you tell me is confidential. It’s between us and I hold no judgment.

Client: Okay.

Coach: Great neil

Let’s listen in on still another session:

Coach: Hi, neil!

Client: Hi. Are you able to understand me? I have a very heavy accent and I really think that’s going to be a problem on the telephone. People have trouble understanding me. Even though I’m really smart, they treat me like I’m dumb because of my accent.

Coach: Okay. Are you asking if I have a problem understanding you?

Client: Well, yes. Do you have a problem that I’m from the Ukraine, with this heavy accent? You may not want to work with me because of this.

Coach: I’m delighted to work with you, and if there is something that I have trouble understanding or you have trouble understanding, let’s just honour each other and be sure we ask the other person, or let the other person know that we need some clarification. How’s that?

Client: Okay.

Coach: Great, I’m delighted to work with you.

You will later learn tools to take away judgment neil asher. Let’s imagine this together. What if everyone received this training and no one in the universe judged others? What would/could this world be neil asher like? You can create that world for you through your desire to let judgment go. Don’t worry, we have many tools to teach you and have only just begun to visit this topic.

neil asher

Neil Asher Introduction

Neil Asher

The idea for this book came from my work as a professional and personal coach. As I coached people of all ages, all backgrounds, and from all continents, I began to realize the powerful coaching tools I had been using were changing  people’s lives, as they learned to use these same tools for themselves. 

Later, through the New Insights the coach training company that I founded, I learned that some of our students weren’t in the training program to be personal and professional coaches, they were there to use the tools to be more effective in their personal and professional lives. I began to imagine a world where each of us learned these coaching tools, these life tools, as we developed from childhood. I know we’d all be better children, friends, teachers, parents, community members, partners, lovers, business owners, and employees … better people Neil Asher

Coaching tools are really people tools, and I think they need to be made available to the public rather than hidden in coach training programs. We all deserve to have the same skills that coaches have. I know, from personal experience, that coaches have more evolved lives and are typically happier with who they are and what they do. I know that many people who hire a coach gain this satisfaction with themselves as a benefit of the coaching experience. I began to ask myself, why not give these same coaching tools and gifts to readers who aren’t trained as coaches and who may not yet have had a journey with a coach? Why not make these powerful tools available to all to use?

This book is my dream - to share coaching with the world. My desire is that we begin to share these skills with children from an early age, and for us, well, it is never too late to learn!

Have Fun Using these Tools and Let’s Get Coaching!

Neil Asher